Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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