All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
