At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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