i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
