Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I need to stop coming to work sober
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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