I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
