You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
