If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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