Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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