p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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