considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
