Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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