I love black thongs
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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