fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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