Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
