Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
