why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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