i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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