You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
