I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
