I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
