fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
