honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
