well you can't waste a boner
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
