Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
