The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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