Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
