I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize