The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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