He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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