So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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