I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My penis needs a shock collar
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
