I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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