Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
