Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
