Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
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