and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
