so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
