I feel like abortions should bother me more
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
