So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
This house was built for laser tag.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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