I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
