He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
