dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
