he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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