Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just high enough for therapy.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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