I've blown a few things in my day
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
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