wat bout pragnant strippers??
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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