After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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