Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
