She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
